exploration journal

The strange first day of my new life

Saturday, August 1st. Today is the first day of my new life.

It feels so good. And it feels so strange.

I can hardly believe that this moment I have dreamt about and prepared since months actually happens. Really ? So this is now ?                                                                                                                                                                                                            

The future is the present.

I had the idea of the lifelab project almost one year ago – although at the time it was a totally intuitive, irrational, vague, and crazy urge I felt deep inside.

Time going by, I clarified what I wanted to do and why. And my project took shape. Over the last months, it was sometimes hard to live in the present moment while building such an exciting project.

When I speak about living in the present moment : I mean really – in the way Eckart Tolle speaks about it in his conscience-awaking book « The Power of Now ».

Now the dream is no longer a dream. The future is the present. I feel dizzy. And I now it is normal.

Yesterday I said goodbye to the company where I grew up and learnt and blossomed over the last 4 and a half years.

Just after leaving my office, I went to a bookshop to buy coaching books. It was certainly reassuring to do immediately a concrete thing useful for « my new life ».

Then I went on the rooftop of the Galeries Lafayette. I was surrounded by the roofs and mythic monuments of Paris – the Opera, very close-by, the Eiffel Tower… and many tourists making selfies with the fashionable « selfie-sticks » !

It is the kind of moment when you really feel strange. I felt that it was impossible to be fully aware about what was happening.

So instead of running everywhere and calling everybody, I suspended time, sat dawn to try to start integrating what was happening.

I wrote in my diary about how I felt.

(And I called my parents !)                                                                                                                                                                                                        

A day to set the tone ?

This Saturday morning, I thought that what I would do today was very important.

I thought that what I would choose to do on this very first day of « my new life » would give a tonality to the rest of it.

Because of the power of intention. The power of rituals. The power of thoughts and actions. The power of choices that we make.                                                                                                                              

There is a quote from Gandhi that inspires me a lot :

« Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny. »                                                                                                                                                                               

It makes me think twice about the way I think about my life and the way I act.

So I asked myself :

What do I want my new life to be filled with ? How do I want to feel ? What are my priorities ?

I felt strong and fragile in the same time.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

I did my yoga ritual and then chose to do a special meditation that gives a lot of energy (yes, A LOT : they say that if you do it at night, it is so powerful that you cannot sleep !! ;). So I never tried to do it at night.

I chose it because it is quite impressive to be on the threshold of this blank one-year page to write. On my own.

I spent time preparing my blog-to-be – at this moment I am still trying to understand how the back-office of a wordpress blog works and I ask myself questions of extremely high stake, such as : How do I change the text on this button ? What is a « Page » ? What is this thing they call « Meta » ? I feel like an extraterrestrial !

I cooked delicious organic food.

And I had planned to see a close friend.                                                                                                                                                      

So : Yoga and meditation to take care of me, be in the present moment and connect to myself in order to develop a higher quality connection to others and the world. Cooking and eating delicious food. Learning blogging by experimenting it. And friendship.

Sounds great for this first day.

For tomorrow, there is another ritual I know I really need to add : tidy my apartment.